An Exercise for Feeling Overworked & Overwhelmed at Work

If you feel like you’re having trouble expressing yourself and feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and underappreciated at work, exhausted, on the verge of burnout then here is an exercise that can work to help you out of the doom and gloom!

Written language and communicating with words might not be your thing. Words don’t always work in expressing your true frustration. There are other ways to communicate, work through stuff and break through blocks in your career and life. Going through these complex, abstract emotions and taking these forms of frustrated emotions and putting pen, crayon or marker to paper with them can help you. As an artist myself, I can attest to the power of art as it helped me process some of my own trauma. It was actually the one thing that really worked for me. I tried therapy, church, read, prayed and more…but ultimately it was creativity that guided me through the darkness.

If you feel exhausted like you’re about to burnout or if you feel overwhelmed and nothing seems to support you, this could be the way that can help you explore and move through this. Go for it!

It’s as easy as getting out a notebook and a pen. Once you have the paper in front of you, let your frustrations go onto the paper. So if you are really mad, just scribble, scrape and scratch as much as you need to. Let the emotions course through you otherwise they end up lodged in your body and can make you sick, nervous and anxious. This exercise allows the emotions to roll through you so that you can have a clear mind. It creates space in your thoughts to acknowledge the simple root of what’s getting to you. As simple and clear as: ‘This job is not the right job for me’, ‘This relationship isn’t working with this co-worker’. By processing the emotion and seeing its message, you are then free to take bold action, without the emotion attached to it.

I have experienced many times of scribbling or taking a piece of wood and a hammer and hammering away. You can let the emotion out on any inanimate material you choose (I personally love to use wood and salt!). The purpose is to unblock your mind and get clarity, not to make a beautiful piece of art.

Need more? My workshop ‘Avoiding Burnout: An evening of Art Making to Soothe the Soul’ has passed but if you find yourself wanting a different space to process, join my next workshop ‘Avoiding Career Burnout: Salt Therapy Edition’ for an evening of reflection and creation of how to make your life at work worthwhile and reconnect to yourself and your dreams!

The Impact of Unconscious Leadership

We are all leaders in one way or another. Whether you lead a group of people or if you lead your children and family – you are a leader! I challenge you as a leader to ask: Am I a shitty leader? It’s a bit of a bomb drop I know, BUT it is a really vital question.  

 

I had a really interesting conversation with a well-known thought leader recently. This person appears to be trailblazing their way through life on the outside, but looking in reveals a completely different story. I was quite intimidated to speak to them as I wondered how I could be of benefit to them when they are already well-established and not to mention a bit older with way more experience. It turns out that this person has been struggling with many things that we younger millennials struggle with.

 

It boggled my mind that this leader had a belief inside of them, instilled from a young age, that doesn’t serve them. The problem was that this belief not only impacted them, but this this belief impacted their entire community. For example, say I am a personal trainer at a gym who's still on my own weight loss journey, but I don't believe it's possible for me to ever lose weight no matter how much I try. However subtly, this belief impacts every client I work with and person I have a chance to help in my community. It undermines the work I do with my clients and community day in and day out.

 

If I don’t believe that I can lose weight, it’s likely that I will attract clients that also don’t believe that. I am also not likely to set them up for success because what I offer is completely out of alignment with my subconscious beliefs. Not only am I hindering myself to lose weight and have the ideal body that I want, I am also hindering the lives of others energetically.

 

As a leader, no matter what type of leader you are, I encourage you to examine what beliefs you hold about yourself. Where do you want to grow, but feel stunted? What are the beliefs hiding inside of you? Are they serving you? Are they serving your community? Your friends, family, children, clients? If you are a leader (in any shape or form), where are these subconscious beliefs that you might not even know that you have that are impacting the lives of others?

 

Join my next event. We will be working on accessing and exploring some limiting subconscious beliefs. It’s a dangerous place to be in if you’re unsure of how your thoughts, words and behaviors are affecting your community. Come and explore these thoughts and patterns in this workshops and learn how to break-up with or navigate some of these ingrained subconscious patterns.

A Creative Way to Reconnect to Your Job

70% of the US population feel disengaged at work or they hate their jobs…

If you’re part of this 70%, try this exercise to re-commit to connecting to why you started working where you work in the first place. This exercise will completely change the way you view your job and the career path that you’re on. Give it a go!

Write a letter to your employer telling them why you love them and why you’re grateful for having them in your life. This exercise might sound like a combination of cringe-worthy craziness, but it is highly effective in reminding you why you took the job in the first place. You don’t have to give the letter to your employer, unless you want to, but ultimately this exercise is for you! Here’s a suggestion on how to start your letter:

 ‘Dear [insert organization], I am so so grateful that day in and day out you pay for my bills…

At the end of the day this job, that you might currently loathe, is part of your journey and by writing this letter you are partaking in a gesture of acknowledging this part of your journey in a different way other than complaining about how much you hate your job.

When you first start a job, you may feel a sense of excitement, like you’re falling in love, and it’s easy to see why you’re destined for this job in the bigger scheme of things. It might be a stepping stone for you to save more money to go back to school, or it might be an entry level position for you to work your way up the ladder. Yet as time goes by it’s easy to see less and less of the bigger picture that you had envisioned for yourself.

What this exercise does is shift your perspective of where you’re at right now in your job. It can be written as a farewell letter or it can be written as a way to renew your commitment with your employer and/or the company you work for. It’s an effective way to gain resilience and get perspective on what your next move is.

If you try this exercise and you’re still feeling stuck with your career, grab a COMPLIMENTARY SESSION with me to see how I can guide you in connecting with and fulfilling your purpose.

 

How to Find Work that Fills Your Wallet and Your Soul

This one is for the nine to fivers who are having a tough time in your job. You might not be getting enough time for yourself, sitting with a long to-do list, hating your job and feeling like each task is ‘high-priority’. If you’re watching cat videos or scrolling through Facebook by the time it hits 3PM, keep reading!

 

If you’re at the office right now or you have to wake up to it tomorrow, I invite you to give yourself permission to take that lunch break and get yourself out of the office. You’re not likely to produce better work or feel good about what you’re doing if you perpetuate the same patterns in your working environment. If you are in the mind set of disengagement, disinterest, resentment or feeling tired you need to get up, get your body moving and take some time to re-create your space. You need to create your own weather and bask in it no matter what anybody else’s weather brings to you. If you had a rainy day yesterday or weeks ago, it doesn’t mean that you have to have a rainy day today.

 

Creating your own weather is about creating your own psychological space that is rejuvenating, refreshing and helps you to step into your career with your best foot forward. You might be thinking that a lunch break is not going to negate the fact that I have to come back to a crappy job. This may be true for you BUT I have created a FREE ONLINE TRAINING for anyone who is feeling tired of their boss or disengaged and undervalued at work. Join me TODAY, the 19th of June at 12:30PM EST for “How to Find Work that Builds Your Wallet and Your Soul”.  It’s about figuring out your passion (if you don’t know what it is), taking actionable steps and moving forward so that you can get out of cubicle land (or any other unpleasant work environment) and into a career that makes you excited to wake up to every single day.

 

I’ve been inspired to create this webinar because I have been hearing from so many people who are unhappy in their work and it’s been weighing on me - so I am coming forward to offer this to you. REGISTER HERE. Take your lunch break - See you there!

Two Tools You Can Use to Be More Productive

Productivity is activity that positively influences the trajectory of your life whether at home, at work and with personal projects. With many conversations surrounding the age old "Why don't I ever get anything done?" or "How the hell did I even get here [without achieving what I set out to achieve]?", I decided it was time to give you two tools that can change your productivity game.

The first tool was developed by Mel Robbins - the ‘5 Second Rule’. This rule helps you launch into whatever task you need to get done and prevent procrastination. The idea is to count backwards from 5 and move yourself physically towards achieving the task. For example, if you’re struggling to get out of bed, count down from 5 to 1 and physically get yourself out of bed. Or, if you remember something that needs to be done, count down from 5 to 1 and write that task down on your to-do list. The ‘5 Second Rule’ is about helping you make that first move towards being more productive and creating that forward momentum for yourself.

‘The Tomato Timer’ is another great tool to help you be your most productive self. Traditionally, this tool is about setting a 20 minute timer where zero distractions are allowed. Yep, this means no phone, no Facebook, no cat videos; this means no distractions until you've completed the task at hand or the timer has hit 20 minutes. At the end of the 20 minutes you get a 5 minute break to do whatever you want or need to do and then you go back to 20 minutes of focused work. I would like to suggest for you to get a little more creative with your tomato timer. For example, I had a really long spreadsheet to update – something like 300 rows! So I made an internal agreement with myself to do 20 lines at a time and take a short break to look at my phone, 20 lines, short break, 20 lines, SHORT break....you get the idea.

For those of you who have lunch breaks, the tomato timer is perfect for you. One day I dedicated 40 minutes of my lunch break to my own personal tasks. The agreement that I created with myself was that if I completed these 40 minutes, I get to take a 20 minute walk. The tomato timer helps you manage your time because you know you need to complete something within the time allocated. The breaks give you space to fill your time with a sense of reward for your focus. There are even Tomato Timer Apps out there that you can use to assist you! This tool is really helpful during afternoon sluggishness where you end up mindlessly scrolling through Facebook (or mindlessly clicking through windows).

If you feel like procrastination is getting the worst of you or you’re slacking at work or on your passion projects, join my FREE Online Training (June 19th, 2018 at 12:30pm EST): How to Find Work that Fills your Wallet & Your Soul.

If you'd prefer personalized support, set up a complimentary strategy session with me HERE to create a solid action plan you can step into, to become your most productive and inspired self. 

Two Vital Steps to Manifest like a Boss!

If you want or need more in your life, here are two steps that can help you create 'more': more time, money, love, affection, etc.

 

1. Get Clear!

The first thing to do is acknowledge the importance of manifesting and getting clear on what you want. Giving Creator, the Universe, God or whatever resonates with you a clear picture of what you want is an important starting point. It’s imperative to reflect on why you want what you want.  If you want more money, what are you going to spend it on? The universe has to know how to meet you half way. You might ask for a place to live and receive a small apartment (instead of mansion you vaguely wanted) and be disappointed. Being specific about exactly what you want and why you want it helps the Universe to help you.

 

A while back I was in a difficult space. I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was facing financial difficulties and I had a stressful job. I ended up doing an exercise called 'Kylego'-ing, where you mentally go one year into the future, speak as if you are in the present moment and say why your life is going so great. When I was in this stressful space, I did this exercise. I created space to see what I really wanted, which was a healthy relationship with a man who loved and respected me, I wanted to feel better in my body , I wanted a pet and a bigger living space. I built a clear picture as to what I wanted. I ended up doing this exercise for 90 days. At the end of the 90 days I had ended my previous relationship and met someone new and manifested a little furry friend! Everything turned around for me because I met the universe half way by stipulating what it is that I want. Another fabulous exercise to help manifest is through stream of consciousness writing where you write down what you want without thinking too much about structuring clear sentences. Once you feel that you have written enough, you can pick out the pieces that resonate with what you really want in your life. Both 'kylego'-ing and stream of consciousness writing assist you to get down to the details of what you want.

2. Create Space!

Creating space for what you want so that it can arrive is an invaluable way to prepare you to receive. If you are a Type A personality you may think that you have to work constantly in order to get what you want. This is not necessarily true. Sometimes it’s best to put what you want out there, do a healthy amount of hustle and then surrender and give space for those things to arrive. During this time of space it’s a good idea to rest, recuperate and live life the way you would if you have already manifested what you want.

 

In short, get clear on what you want and create space for the Universe to meet you half way. These two steps will undoubtedly skyrocket your ability to manifest. When you create space, you will have the capability to deeply receive what you’ve manifested and be grateful without the feeling of desperately longing for ‘what’s next’.

 

If you’re looking for guidance on how to manifest more in your life, book a Complimentary 30 minute session with me to help you get closer to knowing what you want and start manifesting this. Or come and meet me - I will be running a workshop on the 7th of June - Join me at Avoiding Burnout: An Evening of Art Making to Soothe Your Soul.

A Creative Tool to Process Anxiety

Tired of trying to express how you feel in clear, concise verbal ways? If yes, I’d like to offer you a simple yet highly effective tool to help you work through your SH*T without having to have a formal therapy session or go about it in a formalized manner. This is a tool to help you step into your mind and work through it in a way that is not pressurizing. It’s an awesome tool to help you understand your anxiety and the underlying feelings.

 

When we talk about our issues to a friend or a therapist there seems to be an unspoken pressure to verbally express yourself adequately and getting the words ‘right’. When I have gone through traumatic experiences I have had found it difficult to verbally express what I am going through inside. And yes, this comes from someone who is talkative and outgoing! If you’ve tried therapy, tried praying, journaling, tried having drinks and talking through stuff with your friends but you still feel anxious, I suggest you try this tool to discover and uncover some new insights that can guide you forward.

 

You might not be aware of anxiety or know why it’s there. This tool can help you find the root of your anxiety. Try it! Get a piece of paper and a pen. Feel free to include markers, crayons, color pencils, etc. With your mighty pen in hand, draw out your narrative and draw whatever comes to mind. For example, if you are feeling anxious about your relationship with your boss at work, draw out what is going on. Draw your boss and the way that they make you feel. Your drawing might give the impression of an explosion, a dullness or something completely different. The aim is to let your stream of consciousness guide you, so draw whatever comes up. The best way to let your consciousness flow is to draw quickly. It doesn’t have to look like a beautiful piece of art. It is merely a channel for you to non-verbally express what’s going on for you.

 

Using drawing as a channel of expression can help you work through stuff quicker than trying to find the ‘right' words and you’ll be able to access deeper places in your subconscious mind that are seemingly unrelated. You might draw your boss, then draw an explosion followed by a box of tissues, to which you can ask yourself why you drew a box of tissues. From this point you can use this subconscious connection to the tissues to figure out what your boss reminds you of – perhaps an ex who mistreated you and made you cry a lot so you needed lots of tissues? The possibilities are limitless and very specific to you and your journey.

 

70% of Americans hate their jobs and feel a sense of boredom, indifference and dullness in their work. If you are this person, I invite you to have a conversation with me to see how I can help you step into the person that you want to be – someone who feels fulfilled and purposeful. Book a 30 minute complimentary session with me HERE.

A Simple Exercise to Reclaim Your Personal Power

What defines your personal power? You might best express and find your personal power in various activities, in your work environment, in social settings and/or through your sexuality or spirituality. Holding your personal power is about knowing what you want and knowing your worth. It’s about knowing what you like and don’t like and also about doing what you want, not necessarily what you think you ‘should’.  

How can you find your sense of power among the noise?

A client of mine has been wanting to find her sense of spiritual power in relationship with God/the Universe as she understands it. We talked about how there are many ways to communicate, especially in religion. There is spiritual text and praying and that’s about it, but ultimately there are so many other ways that we can engage and communicate with a higher power. What I have been exploring with my clients is determining what kind of communication will help them feel power, freedom and lightness.

Try this exercise – Grab a pen and spontaneously respond to this prompt.

If I had time or money, I would… [Fill in the blank].

You might come up with something like this: If I had time or money I would go dancing... If I had time or money I would make art… If I had time or money I would start my own company…. If I had time or money I would tell my boss to shove it. Among this list you will find something (usually the first thing) that will give you that sense of personal power.

I was chatting to a client who loved to dance but she kept saying that she has no time to dance. I asked her for her favorite song, found it and told her to dance her heart out for the next 1 minute and 30 seconds. In this short time she experienced her personal power. For this client dancing helped her to find her energetic flow and release that energy into and out of herself in order to find her power, let her hair down and claim who she is.

Yours might be picking up a book or sitting in nature, it doesn’t have to necessarily be as physical as dancing. What is it that you would do more of if you had the time or the money? How can you do this right now? My client believed that she had to go somewhere and dance, but the reality is that she could dance here, now and in this moment.  During her dance she experienced a sense of reconnection to her personal power in connection to her sexuality and her career. She released all of her blocks and was able to move forward and make quick decisions to create the life that she wants.

Try this exercise so that you can really step into your personal power and create the career that you want, take care of yourself and feel like you’re living your best authentic life! If you’re feeling skeptical or stuck, I have a few openings on my calendar for you to book a complimentary strategy session to see how I can help you break free and step into your personal power. Let’s figure this out! Book a session HERE.

Finding True Love with Joanne Sapers

Relationships are always a hot topic with my clients, so I decided to get the ins and outs of how Joanne Sapers helps women to find and keep true love. Joanne is a licensed spiritual practitioner, relationship expert and Founder of Go Deep with Love. Joanne guides those who are currently in a relationship or single. 

On the journey of finding true love, it is important to know that it is your inner self that you want to learn how to connect to. This can help you learn how to connect to your intuition and  trust your judgement.

Some people in relationships feel out of sorts, like they have lost themselves. Tossing and turning at 2 am about whether you still want to be in a relationship with someone is a very scary place to be. If you are in this space, it's important to get to your pain point in order to understand exactly where you're at. Through a process of forgiveness, visualization and limiting belief work, you can identify what it is that you want to believe now. Think about what you want your life to look like and how you want to feel inside.

If you feel that everything is your partner’s fault and not yours, a great question to ask yourself is 'Where are you losing yourself in the relationship?'. By asking yourself this, you can get back to who you really are and reconnect to your core values. From this space you'll be able to clearly look at and THEN see what’s going on with you and your partner.

 

“I had a client who was feeling overwhelmed by what her life looked like. She was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. When her partner tried to talk to her she would end up yelling and screaming but that’s not who she is, she just didn’t know how to navigate in a loving way within her relationship. The last thing that she wanted to do was spend time with her husband, yet now they have dates, they’ve gone on vacation, she looks forward to seeing him and they are best friends. So for her, I helped the two of them come back together. She did a lot of inner work on herself and is now in a very safe and secure space. The root of her issue was that she did a lot of self-work but she just couldn’t get there.  She needed someone to see her heart. We did a lot of heart talk where her heart and mine were talking to each other. This made her feel safe and know that she is worthy. I questioned what her relationship would look like if she felt worthy and what that would feel like”  – Joanne

 

Joanne has clients who show up with the fear of getting out a relationship and ending up alone. Scared that they’ll never meet the right person if they let their current partner go or if it can actually make it work. If this is you, positive tools can teach you how the subconscious mind works in relation to “What we believe, we become”. The freedom of understanding this helps people realize that they can change their beliefs.

 

“If things felt better, what would you love to feel? How would that be? What would that look like? How would all this effect other aspects of your life?”

- Joanne

 

If you are single and afraid to enter a relationship due to previous abuse and fear around what’s out there these days, learn how to trust again and most importantly feel it in your heart. With forgiveness work, you can begin to understand how previous abuse or betrayal happened in regards to the bigger picture. You'll also be able to open your heart and know that your heart is totally available for love to come through. Ultimately with these situations a lot of the forgiveness work is learning to forgive yourself.

If you have been single for a very long time,  the first step to getting back into the dating world is to feel good about who you are today.  Learning to trust your judgement and know who you are better prepares you for choosing the right one. Singles know how to love since they have, at various points in their life, expressed love in connection to friends, family, pets, etc.

“I help them expand this love to their true love”

– Joanne

 

Claim your FREE GIFT with Joanne Sapers, HERE.

It's not too late to catch my next Feeling Salty Workshop in New Jersey on the 17th of May! Figure out what you truly want while having fun doing it. Grab your ticket HERE! 

8 Things I Know For Sure

Spending time with my mentor, I was guided towards reflecting and pinpointing 8 things that I know for sure. Below, I share what I came up with. These gems serve as guiding posts towards living my most authentic self. You can try this exercise too!  It’s different for everyone. Come up with 5 – 10 things that you know for sure and use these in guiding your everyday life.

1. The Universe has my back! Yip! The only rule that the universe has for you is that you show up in your business, your relationships and with yourself. You can visualize in order to manifest but you have to take action too. Show up!

2. I need support in my journey. This support includes friends, coaches, therapists, etc. Seek Support!

3. Art and Creativity are life savers. It helps us get in touch with our soul and our creator. Create!

4. Flow – when you find flow, you experience the truest version of yourself, the version that you may have buried a long time ago. Unfortunately flow is one of the easiest things to forget. Life is quicksand with flow – if you don’t allow yourself to use it, you’ll have to uncover it again and again or sink to the bottom if you do not use it. Flow is life’s truest gift to us. Everybody has different ways of getting into flow – whether it’s through sports, art, dance, writing, meditation, etc. Find your Flow!

5. Your body is a beautiful, perfect vessel for your soul. Your body is a container for your soul and consciousness. We should be treating our body as if it is golden. What are you doing to take care of your body? What chemicals and substances are you pouring into your body, essentially pouring that into your soul? Your body is your temple!

6. Anger is a Road Map. Anger can show you what you want, where you need to go and what your boundaries are. If you closely examine the things in your life that make you angry, you will receive some very fruitful and useful information about yourself. Listen to Anger!

7. You have to take care of yourself. Changing your life in order to take care of yourself is one of the most important things that you can do. By making changes towards taking care of yourself, you may create a positive domino effect for others. Take care of yourself regularly, not just once in a while, so that you don’t have that breakdown or you don’t snap at your family or lose important people or situations in your life. Take Care!

8. We could all use a little therapy – even the therapists and caregivers! The person giving their gifts to the world and really holding space for others, where are you going for that emotional and psychological support? Learn to Receive!

 

I encourage you to go through this exercise yourself. List 5 – 10 things that you know for sure that are guidelines for what you stand for, what supports you in the healthiest ways and what focuses you in life. If any of these 8 things inspire you and you feel that you need support and creativity or you need guidance in pinpointing these 5-10 things, grab a FREE Complimentary Session with me to get you into the flow of finding your guiding posts.

Financial Wellness with Kristy Runzer

On a poll in my private Facebook group, The Career Revolution Community, I discovered that many of the members have one common goal: to figure out their finances. So I decided to speak with a former client of mine:  Kristy Runzer, founder of On Route Financial, about financial wellness. Kristy’s company focuses on Money Mindset work, Financial Planning & Coaching as well as Financial Education. These three components allow you to live a healthier financial life. 

Kristy has been a financial planner for 5 years and started her money mindset journey a few years ago. She was a financial planner who knew all of the skills and tools to create a financial plan for the future, but she still was not getting to her definition of success. Why? Because her negative money mindset was holding her back. Having a healthy money mindset (AKA allowing your mind to be in the right space to receive and maintain abundance) is the foundation towards financial wellness. The negative self-talk around money was self-sabotaging for Kristy. For Kristy, associating her money with her self-worth was a regular and unhealthy practice.

“My net worth and self-worth were one in the same. Basically, if I wasn’t hitting my financial goals in my business, if I wasn’t making enough money off sales…I felt like a failure and I would doubt myself”  –Kristy

The first step towards financial wellness is to recognize what is holding you back. You have an empty wallet, but what is the real issue? The wallet is the symptom, not the cause. Kristy advises that in order to identify the cause, start paying attention and notice why your wallet is empty. Do you just spend when you have money? No matter how much you make do you always feel like you do not have enough? Say you're one of those folks that always seems to be emptying out your wallet. The first step in determining your money mindset is to be present, as much as possible, in those moments. What is going on in your mind? What’s happening in your day? Are there events triggering you? Many people have tendencies to spend when they’re in an emotional state. I have a client who I had track her mood every day in conjunction with her spending patterns and we found some serious correlations between mood and spending (books were her guilty pleasure when she was feeling down)!

Kristy advises that when you’re on a spending spree the best self-care strategies are vast and dependent from person to person. You need to figure out what works for you. Some things you can explore are money stories. These are very insightful in understanding your beliefs and habits around money. We form beliefs and habits based on things that happened in our lives. Ask yourself, what messages did you hear about money growing up? What did you observe your family doing and saying about money? What messages do you receive from society and friends when it comes to money? Did you compare your family’s wealth to others around you? Some messages might have been: ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ OR ‘Rich people are greedy’ OR ‘I will only make money if I work hard’. What belief did you form because of these messages? It’s pivotal to understand what beliefs you formed and whether you actually believe them or not. You might not say that you believe these things, but you’re still acting like you do.

What are the action steps that you can do to re-program these beliefs? Kristy had the limiting belief: “If I don’t hit my financial goal, my business is failing” but she wanted to get to a point of believing that “I am super successful no matter how much money I make”. Going from what you actually believe and what you want to believe is really hard so it’s necessary to take baby steps and create baby step beliefs as you go along that will get you to what you really want to believe. So in this example, you might say “Okay I didn’t hit my financial goal this month, what can I do to re-tweak a strategy”. Something I emphasize with my clients is transforming ‘I should…’ into ‘I would like to…’. Using the sentence stem, “I would like to…’, instead of “I should…” is a useful way of re-framing your beliefs in pursuit towards creating healthier beliefs for yourself. “I would like to…” allows you to take ownership of what you want – it’s empowering and trumps the infamous “I don’t want…’statements. Be real with what you want.

“Some of your money messages will hold you back from what you really want.”  -Kristy

Some other useful tips to changing beliefs is voicing these beliefs - write them down or speak to someone about it. Start watching videos or listening to podcasts that can re-educate you around financial abundance and make the topic less scary.

A lot of financial planning is about starting with the end in mind. So figuring out what you want and working backwards from there. Connecting with the essence of what your financial goals are is important. If you want to buy a house, it’s not really about the house, it’s about what the house may bring which could be security, warmth, a family life…you name it! Going beyond the numbers and figuring out what your financial goals really mean to you gives your goals some clout and gives you the motivation to get out of bed every morning!

Job resentment seems to be a hot topic for people these days too! People are resenting their jobs and wanting to venture off to do their own thing. You might not like your situation but you’re staying for the money. Kristy advises to be curious about this resentment and what that’s about. THAT job can fund your passion, the side-hustle or the business. Try look at it as a short-term thing. You’re doing what needs to be done in order to fund the dream. So acknowledge this and be clear with what you want. The resentment is usually there because you are not clear on what you want.

Get clear on what you want, focus on the vision and on one thing at a time. Keep showing up, keep growing and don’t be afraid to invest in yourself.

If you’re feeling stuck about money and want to take action but don’t know where to start, Kristy is offering all my my followers (that's YOU!) a free 60 minute Coaching Session where you will gain an action plan that can jump start you for the next 3 months. Click on this link to receive your complimentary coaching session with Kristy! 

 

Need to figure out what your passion and purpose is so you can capitalize it? Perhaps it's time to hope on the phone for a complimentary strategy session with me as well. Click here to grab your 30 minute session with me.

Anger is a Road Map

I have noticed a lot of my clients and workshop participants expressing that they are angry and resentful about certain situations in their lives. Resentment is one of the greatest teachers and can be a really useful road map towards navigating what your boundaries are. When you start to feel resentment the road map has presented itself to you and you're usually feeling that resentment because someone (including you) may have overstepped your boundaries. You might not even know that you had certain boundaries until somebody steps on them and you find yourself feeling upset and pissed off without initially understanding why. You might lash out and perhaps overreact in a way that even surprises you.

 

When you start to feel the anger rising, the first thing that you can do is ask yourself, ‘Why am I angry or resentful?’. ‘Is it because I went out to this event when I really didn’t want to go?’ or, ‘Is it because I am letting this person disrespect me?’ or ‘Is it that I am working too much?’. We have all had our boundaries overstepped and, very likely, overstepped someone else’s boundaries.

 

Where in your life have you had someone overstep your boundaries? This is the first step towards creating a wall for yourself.  I don’t mean a wall to shut everything and everyone our permanently, I mean a wall that protects you and creates a sacred space that serves you in a healthy way. A good example is of a woman who came to one of my Feeling Salty workshops. She was always finding herself at events, feeling obligated to be there while not wanting to be there. In the process, one of her best friendships was falling apart because she wasn’t speaking up about the fact that she didn’t like being in loud party environments. Her resentment was telling her that she didn’t like being in spaces that are loud and rambunctious. So the boundary that she needed to set was to express that although she loves her friend, she cannot go to loud parties or spaces that she didn’t enjoy. We created a system to help her say NO where she would respond to her friends’ invitations by saying that she needed to check her calendar first. Maybe she didn’t even need to check her calendar but by saying that she did create the space for her to reflect on whether she really wanted to go to an event or party and whether or not this event would create a strain on her friendship. 

Choose discomfort over resentment –Brene Brown

I love this quote by Brene as it stipulates that it is better to choose to have an uncomfortable conversation before you reach the point of feeling angry or resentful.

 

Jealousy is another common emotion that we sometimes get stuck with, but it is a potent guide that can show us what we actually desire. For me, I get jealous when I see people travelling because I'd like to travel more. When I met people who talk about their travels, I immediately go into a place of lack and, thus, jealousy strikes. Now I see this jealousy as a clear road map that I need to take that day off, book that ticket or simply plan a road trip outside the city.

 

I have also noticed many people feeling exhausted lately. I encourage you to look at exhaustion as a roadmap too, and navigate what the root causes are of this exhaustion and setting clear boundaries to protect and uplift you.

 

Not sure what your emotions are telling you? Sign up for a complimentary conversation to move you out and onward towards your dream career and life.

Success Story Catalyzed By a Feeling Salty Workshop

Back in October 2017 Naomi Fesseha, a friend of mine who I went to college with, bumped into one another at an event at Moore College of Art & Design. At the event Naomi put her arm around me and proclaimed “I need to do something!” I happened to be running a Feeling Salty workshop the next day so I insisted that Naomi get her butt there! And of course, she did. Feeling Salty workshops provide the space for you to figure out what you want and have fun doing it.

 

Prior to the workshop Naomi was in a space of having to let go of some of her pride. She was at a point of feeling stagnant in what she wanted to do. Naomi shared that she has a lot of ideas but finds it difficult to sometimes separate those ideas and focus in order to take the steps towards making her ideas a reality. One of her ideas was to move out of Philadelphia and out of Pennsylvania altogether.

“I was at my wits end with myself…it was time to reach out...”

                                                                       –Naomi

Naomi needed a new approach so the timing of us meeting was indeed synchronistic. Initially, during the workshop she felt a sense of embarrassment in having to admit that she was ‘feeling salty' – a term used to describe someone feeling angry, upset, lost or out of place.

“The experience was very therapeutic…we got to communicate in a very vulnerable way. Carlee gave a lot of guidance and direction in navigating that vulnerability. You’re in a space with strangers therefore forfeiting control and releasing that” –Naomi.

Through a process of positive affirmations and ‘playing with salt’ so to speak, Naomi felt like something was lifted from her and that she walked out of the workshop feeling a sense of direction.

I had too many things on my mind…I was cluttered. I felt like I walked out with one thing to focus on, which was really important. I came out with an actual step.”

                                                                            –Naomi.

Naomi kept following her step in order to avoid punishment for not following it! In workshops I sometimes get people to sign contracts with themselves and an accountability partner. In the contract, some actions deserve rewards if you fulfill them and other actions (or lack thereof) yield a punishment (the kind that suggests you're getting on the island and burning the boat, the life vest, the bridge and any other vehicle that will let you sink back into your old ways).

“My contract was to dedicate 2 hours a day to apply for jobs in a place where I wanted to be. So from 2pm-4pm every day, no matter where I was, my fingers needed to be typing. My accountability partner was a full-blown adult! If I did not adhere to my contract, I would have to spend all of my savings on Make America Great Again – which is NOT fly at all! ” – Naomi.

In addition to her self-imposed, bridge-burning punishment, Naomi would not have to use her entire savings on these shirts but also have to punt and ‘sell’ Make America Great Again. ...her worst political nightmare. In accordance with her contract, Naomi regularly sent her completed resumes to job opportunities, CC'ing her accountability partner on each and every email.

“It’s different when you have somebody watching you…” – Naomi.

Three weeks after Naomi continuously applied for jobs, she heard back from one and got the job in LA! Once she got the job, she continued with the same discipline, developed during the application process, to look for a places to live as well continue to applying for bigger and better jobs.

Now Naomi has healthcare, does yoga, is meeting new people and is really enjoying her new work...in her desired field, the arts!

“Know where you can afford to learn about new ways of learning about yourself”- Naomi.

Keep a lookout for the next Feeling Salty workshop to figure out what might be your next step towards living your best life and adulting like a pro!

Stop Filling Your Calendar With Fluff and Get Clear on What You Want!

Today I am getting my rant on. I am really feeling sick and tired of being a Type A personality and feeling overworked and being too tired, too drained, too busy. I am at a point where I am over playing calendar Tetris - trying to fit appointments in between every gap on my calendar.

 

As a Type A and even Type B nation, we need to ask ourselves what do we actually want? Do you want to quit your job? Do you want to create your art? Or do you want to be the next bodybuilder? So once you’ve asked yourself this, it only makes sense to start doing the things that align with what you want. It’s ironic and sad to a degree how you might want to be an artist but you fill your calendar with things that have nothing to do with your artistic practice, inspiration or motivation. Instead, you fill your day with things that your boss needs you to do at your day job that is not even necessary. Or you dedicate time to a friend who is merely using you for the hundredth time to be there on a shopping trip with them.

 

Filling our calendars up with unnecessary things is becoming like a disease. I’d like to call out the entrepreneurs in this instance. We fill our calendars with things that do not really align with our vision or mission. Why do we fill our time with people and places that do not edge us forward? If you want to be an artist, you need to have studio time or do things that inspire your art. There are so many entrepreneurs filling their calendars with fluff. Truth be told we’re like a Fast Food Hamburger – filled with fake, toxic filling. There is no nutrition in this filling and it’s not nourishing for our souls.

 

In order to stop getting overwhelmed in our lives and underwhelmed by our results, it’s imperative to get clear about what’s important and what’s not. It’s time to set some boundaries in order to step out of the ‘too’ space – too tired, too angry, too busy...the list goes on. Be clear with what you’re done with and be clear with you want – even if you think it sounds ridiculous. If you want to be a professional artist write it down, speak it and live it. Do the first thing that needs to be done. The first thing might be to clear out as little as a 10 minute slot in your day and fill it with creative connection and expression. Take the little micro bravery steps to propel you forward. Of course there will be distractions and you’re going to have to really be honest about whether this distraction is a good thing to serve you and your purpose in some way and express a clear Yes or No in this situation.

 

What is the first step to get you what you want? Say yes to things that align and no to the things that don’t. If you have any questions or you need support around this, reach out to me HERE and let’s have a conversation!

 

What to do When the Universe Gives You a Sign

I had some pain in my jaw lingering since about December 2018. I had a cold at that time and some sinus pressure so I didn’t think much of it. I went to the doctor, who then sent me to the dentist, who informed me that I pulled a muscle in my jaw. So I got some pain medication and hauled out my good ol’ heating pad to soothe this pulled muscle.

 

During my morning journaling, where I engage in stream of consciousness of writing, I was writing a lot about how I feel overwhelmed and that my jaw hurts. With stream of consciousness writing anything goes during journaling – I could be writing about how grateful I am or let my 5 year old self have a tantrum. I end each of my journal entries with an intention, leaving me with an intention for each day. So at the beginning of this specific week while I was journaling about my jaw and journaling about how I don’t understand this person, how I am overwhelmed etc., it all boiled down to me needing to listen more than I speak. Even the dentist had said that I need to limit my speaking…and cut down on the beef jerky which contributed to my sore jaw (go figure!).

 

Beef jerky aside,  I have been sitting with this guiding post thought that I do need to talk a little less, even contemplating whether to create the video above to share this with you. What I want to pose to you is, is there anything in your life that kind of sucks that is a possible guide post for you? If you think about it a little more, maybe sit down and write about it, it would show you exactly what you need to do to resolve most of your challenges. I found that my jaw as a guiding post has been a solution to several of my challenges, not just one. The lesson was for me to listen, relax a bit more and use my ears and eyes to really hear things in a different way.

 

So look around and notice what is a guiding post for you. If you feel like you do not have a guide post, let’s talk! I’d love to help you with getting in touch with your guide post(s)! I am an expert at helping people get unstuck in their lives and moving forward - Book some time with me HERE.

A Note on Falling Out of Love

Mind blowing fact: Comparison is the number one cause of unhappiness in relationships. There is a full world out there of people and things to compare ourselves too. Comparing yourself to others and, well, that's probably the end of a peaceful or happiness-filled day.  

If you feel unhappy in your relationship, there’s a possibility that you are unhappy with yourself (with all that comparing our brains have a tendency to do). If you are falling out of love with your partner, perhaps it's time to wonder if, in fact, you are falling out of love with yourself instead? Of course there are extenuating circumstances where the relationship is just not a good for you but if I can grab your ear for one second I may be able to ask you some questions that shed some light on your 'less than ideal' relationship.

 

If you feel like you are falling out of love with your partner, try asking yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing the things that I love to do?
  • When I look at myself in the mirror, do I like the person that you see (my body, my soul, my essence)?
  • Am I in love with myself? If no, which parts of me do I need to give some attention?

When we are honest with ourselves, these answers can be painfully or excitingly eye-opening. Are our relationships shitty or are we actually falling out of love with ourselves?

If you are feeling less than enthused about your relationship, perhaps it's time to give yourself some love. 

When we are madly in love with ourselves after some time apart with our true nature, we can often come back to our partner, re-ignite that flame and draw more love into our relationship. So before you go and end your relationship because you're worried you’re falling out of love, check-in with yourself. Are you, in fact, falling out of love with yourself?

If this process feels overwhelming to you, don't worry. That's exactly why I'm here and want to offer you a complimentary 30-minute strategy session with me. During the session, we'll talk about where you're at, where you're going and what's getting in your way so you can move forward to create the kind of life you love.

Let 'Gladitude' Guide You

I have noticed a lull in communication and internal entrapment with a side order of resentment coming up a lot for people lately. It’s easy to feel this way, especially when you’re feeling trapped, not only in your mind but in your physical space – particularly here in Philly with the snow that kept us curled up in doors. So how can you release feelings of resentment and entrapment in your body and free yourself?

 

The other day I messed up what I was trying to say and ended up creating a new word: ‘gladitude’. The word made perfect sense to me at the time and hit home quite a bit, particularly around the theme of letting go of resentment. If you’re able to take a look and see all the things in your life that you’re grateful for and be glad that they are there, your mental walls will automatically be expanded and the resentment will loosen its grip on you.

 

A client of mine shared that she was feeling very defensive every time someone talked to her about her profession. What people were expressing to her was that she is lucky to be in the profession that she is in, especially only having to go in to work 3 days week. Her responsive was a frustrated outburst that she works 10 hour days and works 7 days a week, even if she is not going into work every day she is working ALL THE TIME. Her response was from a place of defensiveness. She holds this belief that she ‘should’ be getting more work done. For her, that belief that she should be getting more work done was like a thorn in her finger. Every day she plays with the thorn thinking that she should be working rather than watching Netflix for example. By now, playing with this thorn every day, it is bound to be infected. So when somebody else ‘insinuates’ that she is not doing enough work, it feels like somebody is squeezing and irritating the thorn. Even if the other person didn’t mean anything by their comment, she got upset because she had been irritated by this thorn for years. Then somebody else just came along and irritated the wound even more. Why didn’t she just take the thorn out?

 

The thorn represents a belief about yourself. When you become conscious of this belief (usually limiting), you can pluck the thorn out and shift this belief about yourself. Thanking the thorn for the time it served and saying ‘I am done with you’ and getting to a place of ‘gladitude’ can be liberating. In a space of ‘glatitude’ my client might respond that her job is great and she is happy to work from home and watch Netflix once in a while. Coming from this space of excitement and ‘gladitude’ is a thornless way of being.

 

What I did with my client is that every time a thought came up where she was tempted to play with the thorn instead of picking it out, she would change her ‘I should statement to ‘I would like to…’ statement. For example, rather than saying ‘I should be doing more…’, ‘I should be going to a networking event or working out more’, change it up to – ‘I would like to do more’, I would like to go to a networking event or work out more’. Try it! You will feel lighter because saying ‘I would like to… [Fill in the blank] takes a whole lot of pressure off of you and gives you space to feel ‘gladitude’, releasing the cloud of resentment or irritation.

Have you caught the resentment bug recently? If you feel defensive and uncomfortable more times than not, it's time to book a complimentary session with me. During the session, we'll talk about where you're at, where you're going and what's getting in your way (those darn thorns).

Why do I Love Myself?

A question that I ask a lot of my clients that seem to stump them is, ‘Why do you love yourself?’ From the responses that I’ve received, I have come to see how we need to start flexing our self-love muscle that much more.

 

Day and night we’re thinking about all the reasons of why we don’t love ourselves, why people don’t like us, why we shouldn’t be liked, why we don’t like ourselves. The way we respond to the question, ‘Why do I love myself?’ speaks volumes to our relationship with ourselves. It’s so easy to look for love outside of ourselves from other people, but the truth is you are looking for love from yourself.

 

‘Why do I love myself’ is a healthy compass question to guide us in the direction of self-love. I love myself because I am goofy, I dance randomly and when I talk about my plants I use a baby voice. I am lucky to have had the experience of answering this question on a regular basis – it’s not an easy question to answer initially. I have even had my days where I cannot think of a single thing of why I love myself. But by flexing this muscle on a regular basis, this question does become easier and can guide you towards a deeper, more connected journey of self-love. That kind of self-love where you’ll find yourself staying away from crappy relationships because you will clearly feel that you are betraying yourself and take steps towards self-love instead of betrayal.

 

If you are reading this, I want you to take a moment to ask yourself what do you love about yourself? Are you caring and kind or quirky…do you enjoy being with yourself when you are free and dancing in the kitchen? If you are struggling with this question, you are welcome to book a COMPLIMENTARY SESSION with me HERE. Through a range of other questions, I will be able to guide you towards developing a comfortable relationship with this pivotal question so that you can connect in a more loving way with yourself.

Flexing your Positivity Muscle...Flex, Flex, Flex!

After finishing up with a few clients the other day, I noticed a theme that was relevant to all of them – it’s so easy to slip into seeing our lives in a negative way but upon a closer look, is your life really a chaotic mess.

 

Yes, we can talk about all the reasons why our lives suck, why we should feel anxious, why we should feel unworthy, unattractive, etc. Essentially, the more we do this, the more we end up flexing our negativity muscle. The negativity muscle is the muscle that we flex when we keep telling ourselves that we are unworthy, not good enough, an idiot, not smart enough etc. We’ve gotten so  good at telling ourselves all the reasons why we are unworthy that when someone asks us, ‘Why are you smart?’ or ‘Why are you sexy?’, we don’t know how to respond because we are not used to flexing our positive muscle(s). Like any gym bunny, you can’t avoid working leg day or else after awhile you might look a little strange The same goes for your positivity muscle, you might not want to flex it, but you need to in order to have a truly balanced and fulfilling life. Think about what’s positive in you and your life right now. It might be as simple as feeling lucky or happy that you have a pet and that you just had food to eat. This muscle might be hard to flex at first but the more you flex it, the more you’ll you see the good in you and your life. Your mind will start to flow with more good vibes, creating a balance between positive and the negative thoughts and feelings. Of course you need the negative or fear-based thoughts as those might serve to protect or humble you in some way.

 

So I challenge you to flex the positive muscle more than the negative muscle. We need an optimistic mind set to see that our lives are genuinely more positive than negative. Why not show others and the world that life can really be great? If you feel resistant towards flexing this positivity muscle you might be experiencing an overload of strength in your negativity muscles, so I urge you to make haste and take your mind for a positive workout. The more you build strength in positivity, the healthier you and your relationships will be. Once the positivity muscle is strong, you will experience the magic of living in an abundant mind set where you will keep on attracting an overflow of amazing people, things, etc. into your life.

Uncertainty – how it affects your life and what to do about it?

 
 

Uncertainty – how it affects your life and what to do about it?

Recently I chatted to Shama Dhanani, soul coach and success shaman, about how uncertainty affects our lives and what to do about it. The one thing about uncertainty is that it is certain. So with this in mind, how can you find flow within the idea that change is constant?

Back in October last year, I experienced a strong feeling of uncertainty with a friendship and where I stood with the people I have been closest to. I wanted my friends to throw me a birthday party and because nobody was throwing me one, I felt a lack of confidence of where I stood in connection to my friends. And because nobody was really saying anything, I started filling in the blanks and making assumptions about my friendships, thinking that nobody wanted to celebrate with me. When you experience uncertainty in your life, it’s so easy to start to fill in blanks with assumptions – it’s like our brain takes uncertainty and turns it into a huge dramatic story. But the more and more we approach uncertainty, the more we learn how to not let it become a destructive force.

Shama shared her story of uncertainty of when she was working in corporate America and she had to transition from this space into a more entrepreneurial space. For her this was a forced choice at the time. 3-5 years ago the universe threw her into a space of needing to make a choice, which obviously created a lot of uncertainty.

No matter what role you play in the world – whether you’re a manager, employee, working mom or someone who has been in a consistent space for a long time, there have still been changes during those times…and like we’ve said – where there is change, there will be uncertainty. But with each time we manage through change, we evolve and the way we approach change becomes more sophisticated as we learn more tools to deal with change. These tools also help us leap-frog the monkey mind that fills in the blanks, and get to what’s really going on.

Uncertainty can also lead us into freeze mode if we let it. But if you listen to what’s underneath uncertainty, you can realign yourself with what’s true for you and not make decisions that ultimately don’t align with you. Freeze mode comes in many forms – procrastination, doubts, and excuses. It’s helpful to notice when you’re starting to freeze so that you can locate where it is happening in your body and NOT let it spread. Listening to your body can help give you a road map of where to go – especially listening to emotions! For example, if you’re angry that someone is achieving x, y and z in their life and you feel anger, this anger is showing you a mirror of what you actually desire. In a sense the anger helps you get real with what you want.

If you’re expanding in your life in any way, this expansion opens up space for a lot of uncertainty! Then of course there is more space for uncertainty to get in and poke at you and that’s when freeze mode is likely to kick in. The more you listen to your body and feelings, the more clues you will get to guide you in an authentic direction. The poking and uncertainty are in essence messengers to help you move through the uncertainty.

Shama and I will be running workshops in New York and Philadelphia, focusing on providing tools to guide you through uncertainty. Shama will be giving us a taste of hypnotherapy and soul coaching while I will be using a moving meditation in salt to get deeper into what’s going on for you.

 

Click to join a workshop this February in New York (25 February) or Philadelphia (26 February)